“I feel like I’ve put a lot of work in.”
The high school student on the other end of the zoom call was right. Multiple college essay rewrites, activities lists, ACT prep, and the right amount of care invested into the applications she was just about to submit to an impressive list of colleges.
“What if it’s not enough?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean, what if it doesn’t work? What if after all this, I don’t get in? I’ll always wonder if I could have done something more,” she said, somewhat sheepishly.
Most people who know me understand what I do professionally: my job entails helping people find the right college, complete college applications, keep up with admissions requirements, and find more scholarship dollars, among many other things. A smaller group of people who know me really well know why I do the work I do. It is to answer questions like this.
Our achievement culture talks about the college search like it’s a life-framing event, with so many possibilities hinging on this one decision. And while I agree it is life-altering, I think the college decision is life-framing in a different way.
The college search is a chance to take stock in what you want for your life, as you understand it today, and imagine the many different possibilities. The college search asks you to fiercely advocate for yourself and tell stories of triumph and learning, failures and course corrections. The college search requires you to forge a team of support around you from parents, friends, teachers, and advisors reminding you that none of us ever find success alone.
And all of these things happen no matter what decision an admissions committee makes.
Sure, we can always learn from the admissions decisions on how to do all of these things better, but we have to know that it is always enough.
Anyone can carelessly submit an application and throw it on the pile just to “see if I get it,” but students who do the hard work, spend the time and be introspective, and put their whole selves into their applications - these students have already succeeded, no matter the admission decision.
My response to this student sounded something like this:
“You have taken all of what you know of yourself, your hopes, aspirations, and hard work and had the strength to send it out to the world. The world then gets to do whatever it needs to do.”
“You’re going to be wildly successful no matter where you go, not because an admissions decision turned out one way or another,” I added.
“It will be because you are who you are. And that’s enough. There is never ‘something more’ than that.”
So when the application submit button gets pressed, it is natural to wonder what happens next. I would encourage you to give yourself the space to appreciate the strength it took to share your story and put yourself out in the world, and the growth it took to hit send.
Sure, it’s ok to be a little nervous because the outcome is uncertain at this point. But know that no matter the outcome, it will always be enough. You will always be enough.
Not working with us yet? Feeling stressed by the college search process? Let's chat.
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